A Slow Bullet
by Blooknaburg
Summary: And I don’t know one thing that Spike loved as much except for…her, and maybe his ship. When it worked.


This fic was written for the songfic contest last summer at the LJ community fayeandspike. It's in first person pov. Just my take on Faye's thoughts and stuff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or Bulletproof Soul, by Sade.

A Slow Bullet

I was so in love with you  
you rarely see a love that true  
wasn't that enough for you  
wasn't that enough for you

He's leaving and I can't do a thing about it. Stupid Lunkhead. Stupid Men. Stupid, stupid. It's not fair. It's not fair to _me_, how he can just go off on a mission to end whenever he wants. It's not fair a person should feel the need to do that.

Go off and die.

Everybody should _want_ to live. What the hell happens to a person to make them _not_ want to live?

Oh, right, stuff like that happens all the time. I got frozen and Spike made friends with a sword toting psycho and now ultimately this leads to needing to finish some business…maybe Vicious wasn't always that way?

Who just _wants_ to go off and get themselves killed by some sword wielding psycho?

Spike, apparently. It's just like him to do the one thing all of the other kids don't want to do. I wonder if…when Spike was younger…when he got a dare, if no matter how crazy it was, he did it?

I bet you he was that kid. That sounds like a Spike way to be.

I think about myself as a kid. I was good. Sure, I did all of the stupid things kids do growing up. I lost the dog, watered the TV and it turned green, tripped and broke stuff. Yea, I was really clumsy until high school wasn't I?

It's amazing. I was a cheerleader.

I practiced all the time. I loved it so much.

And I don't know one thing that Spike loved as much except for…_her_, and maybe his ship. When it worked.

I slumped down the wall and cried. I couldn't help it. He was going, and going, there was nothing I could do. I couldn't shoot him. Yea, I can shoot people, but just not him, just not right then. Any other time, like when I'm pissed off at him I probably could have shot him in the toe or something. 

Probably not. I'm not a shooter. Spike is the shooter.

I would climb a mountain  
I wouldn't want to see you fall  
rock climb for you  
and give you a reason for it all

And how long has he known her? Have they been seeing each other? Well, yes obviously, but like recently? When did they last see each other? I'm at such a loss as to why this has to happen.

I toddled away from the wall, a little off balance. Running my hand back through my hair, like Jet, I made my way down the hallway.

Not my room. I'll think of all the time…or imagine what we… What's that?

Dishes…Jet's doing dishes. The sound of water and the clink of metal and the tap of plastic echoed strangely in the silence. Jet was cleaning the wok.

That's kind of funny. Of the millions, even billions of things that have been lost through the years, they still have woks. It figures. People gotta eat.

I certainly couldn't see myself doing something as mundane or normal as that for a long time after this. This felt like an ending. This felt so much more real than all of the other times Spike had just run off.  
How can he go off and do dishes at a time like this? It made me angry, him puttering around like some grandma, probably in the apron of his, doing the dishes.  
Bell peppers. Gross. Two plates. I guess Spike had some dinner before he…he left.

I pulled over the unclean plate and tilted it over the empty one until the couple strands of bell pepper slid down onto what I assumed was Spike's plate. I picked up the fork just next to the plate and scooted closer to the table. Yea, this was definitely Spike's spot. 

Damn, let's not cry on the leftovers now.

I can't believe it.

You kept on thinking  
you were the only one  
too busy thinking  
love is a gun  
Hit me like a slow bullet  
like a slow bullet  
it took me some time to realize it

I left the common room without eating the leftovers as I had planned. 

He left and I'm alone. Like those stupid peppers. Alone.  
I mean he could have asked for help. Except he's determined to die. I mean…if you're determined to do it then, I guess I can understand wanting to do it your own way.

But I don't want him to. 

Maybe I should go after him. He'd be so pissed. I could save him…if he needed it. I backtracked to the hangar and stared at my ship. If I was going to do something…hopefully I wouldn't get blown up along the way.

I know the end before  
the story's been told  
it's not that complicated  
but you're gonna need a bullet proof soul

It would suck if the one time I set out to do something important my ship blew up. So let's hope it can still fly.

I wonder if he's been planning this. If the whole time he knew it might end this way.  
Please, someone, don't let this be the end. I climbed in and pulled the door shut after me. My hand hesitated on the key. 

If I was so bent on doing something, why wasn't I already out the door?

you were trigger happy baby  
you never warned me, let me free  
it's not that complicated  
but you're gonna need a bullet proof soul  
think you got it but you got all the trouble you need  
I came in like a lamb  
but I intend to leave like a lion

I turned the key and listened to the gurgling power-up.  
There's going to be some turbulence folks.

Well, I've decided. _I'm_ not going to let it go down like this. I'm going to at least try, even if it's not what he wants. Did he ever pay attention to what I wanted?

So we'll just skip listening to him this time.

He wants to go find out if he's alive, well; I'll just have to go make sure he stays that way. Maybe.

The Redtail barely made the take off and almost crashed straight to the deck, but struggled up at a low slope.

I'm off. Off to see how this ends. No matter how I find him. I'm determined that it will be him and not a body

It hit me like a slow bullet  
it hit me like a slow bullet

Tell me what ya thought!

A lot better than my first songfic, huh? PLEASE REVIEW!


End file.
